As I settle in to write this latest blog entry, I can’t help but reflect on the theme of persistence that has been prevalent in my life recently. It’s a quality I’ve always valued, but the kind words and recognition from friends and coworkers have inspired me to explore what it truly means to be persistent and how it connects with self-awareness and authenticity.
To me, persistence is a powerful force—it’s that inner drive that pushes us to keep moving forward, no matter what challenges we encounter. It feels like a reliable companion on our journey, motivating us to pursue our goals with determination. The past few weeks have shown me just how noticeable my persistence is to those around me, prompting me to reflect on how this characteristic aligns with my true self and the self-awareness I’ve developed over time.
I’ve realized that persistence isn’t just about pushing through obstacles; it’s about having a clear understanding of who we are. The more we recognize our strengths and weaknesses, desires and fears, the better we can navigate life’s ups and downs with resilience. Self-awareness is the foundation of authentic persistence, helping us set meaningful goals and understand when to push forward or change direction. As Maya Angelou wisely noted, “You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated.”
Honest self-reflection has guided my approach to persistence. I strive to stay true to my values and intentions while chasing my dreams. When my actions align with my core beliefs, persistence feels less like a struggle and more like a natural part of who I am.
However, this journey hasn’t been without its challenges. It requires a readiness to face setbacks and learn from them, acknowledging the doubts that sometimes arise. I’ve faced frustrating moments where the way forward seemed unclear, but it’s in these situations that self-awareness has been invaluable. Recognizing my emotions and reactions allows me to reframe my perspective and find the motivation to keep going. As Thomas Edison pointed out, “Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”
When I embrace persistence authentically, I also inspire those around me to do the same. This creates a positive ripple effect, fostering a culture where we support each other in our journeys. Our experiences are interconnected, and the more we lean into our persistence, the more we encourage others to tap into their own potential.
As I look ahead to this new month filled with reflection and growth, I invite you to consider the role of persistence in your own life. How can you harness this powerful quality while staying true to yourself? Embrace the challenges and celebrate each step forward, for every moment is an opportunity to learn and grow.
Let’s journey together through the intricacies of persistence, building self-awareness along the way. Together, we can support one another in our pursuits and thrive on the path of authenticity. Here’s to writing the next chapter of our lives with determination, purpose, and a touch of courage! As the saying goes, “Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot, but make it hot by striking.”
What I’m Currently Working on
These days, my schedule feels like a careful balancing act as teaching, writing, and refining my craft take center stage. With testing for middle schoolers beginning, work has slowed down a bit, but it remains high maintenance as I navigate these critical weeks. As I look ahead to the end of my one-year contract on June 13th, I have only 10 working weeks left. I’m eager to share my plans and the progress I’m making during this time. To stay updated on my journey and what I’ll be working on next, feel free to visit the Works in Progress Page or follow the Facebook Page, where I share daily updates and fun tidbits.
What Im Currently Reading
Like many avid YA readers presently, I am currently making my way through Suzanne Collins’ latest entry into her Hunger Games books, Sunrise on the Reaping. This fifth book in her world of distant future Earth, Panem, focuses on Haymitch and when he won the Hunger Games. I share this in this post of persistence for two reasons: 1. Suzanne Collins’ dedication to these stories, this world, and these characters shows a beautiful level of persistence and drive. And 2. The character of Haymitch at his core, especially in this book, deeply relates to the characteristic of persistence. I highly recommend this book regardless of whether you are a fan already or not.
As I settle in to craft my sixteenth entry in this blogging adventure that took flight last November, I find myself immersed in thoughts about the journey so far. Each post has represented more than just a collection of words; they have been stepping stones on the path of my personal and creative growth. One recurring theme that tugs at my heartstrings is the profound importance of self-awareness—a value that I hold close in this intricate tapestry of life.
I envision self-awareness as a lens—one that sharpens over time—through which we come to see ourselves and the world with clarity. It empowers us to untangle our thoughts, embrace our emotions, and intentionally steer our actions. I take pride in my self-awareness, understanding that it is both a privilege and a responsibility that requires constant nurturing, like a delicate plant needing regular care to flourish.
As this month unfolds, I feel an irresistible urge to dive deeper into the essence of self-awareness, as it resonates profoundly with my identity and aspirations. The journey requires a courageous commitment to introspection—a willingness to confront not only my strengths but also the shadows that linger in the corners of my being. This exploration is beautifully complex, rich with the nuances that define who I am.
Embracing self-awareness has been a transformative gift, unlocking doors to creativity and emotional authenticity. It fuels my passion for writing, allowing me to articulate my thoughts honestly and connect with you, my cherished readers, on a deeper level. My hope is to inspire you to embark on your own voyage of self-discovery, to approach life with curiosity, and to keep your heart open to the possibilities that arise.
However, let’s not sugarcoat it: this journey isn’t always easy. Cultivating self-awareness is a challenging yet rewarding process that never truly ends. As we evolve, it’s essential to acknowledge that our growth is an ongoing adventure. This understanding is pivotal to my philosophy on self-awareness; it lays the groundwork for the person I strive to be.
As we journey through life, we should embrace the concept of growth. A vital lesson in being self-aware is recognizing that our accountability encompasses both our current selves and the potential we hold. Change is inevitable, and adaptability is key as we navigate this ever-shifting world.
I can share that I wasn’t always as self-aware as I am today. Self-awareness isn’t an innate trait; it’s a skill I’ve had to learn and practice diligently. It’s about embracing every facet of my existence and striving to understand myself on many levels. I’ve received feedback that I am an understanding person, a quality that blossomed beautifully as my self-awareness deepened. I firmly believe that “Everyone is different, and respecting those differences is the key to a successful life.” This realization has become a cornerstone of my personal philosophy and fuels my interactions in every area of my life.
In every role I embody—as a son, brother, uncle, writer, and now tutor—this core value of self-awareness is always at the forefront of my teachings. After all, if we don’t understand ourselves, how can we hope to understand the world around us, or help others do the same? I approach this with humility; I don’t claim to be an expert, but rather a devoted believer in the significance of self-awareness and its transformative power.
As I continue to delve into this profound theme, I invite you to join me. Let’s journey together through the intricate beauty of self-awareness—finding the courage to reflect, the wisdom to grow, and the joy that blooms from truly understanding ourselves. Here’s to embracing our unique stories and writing the next chapter of our lives with intention, optimism, and a sprinkle of hope!
What I’m Currently Working on
These days, my schedule feels like a balancing act of teaching, writing, and refining my craft. As I look ahead to the year winding down and the prospects of what comes after July, I’m eager to share my plans and continued progress. To stay updated on my journey and what I’ll be working on next, feel free to visit the Works in Progress Page or follow the Facebook Page, where I share daily updates and fun tidbits.
Birthdays can be a double-edged sword. For many, they are moments of celebration and joy, a time to gather with loved ones and reflect on the past year. Yet for others, particularly those who have walked through darkness, they can evoke feelings of introspection, nostalgia, and sometimes even sorrow. As someone who has grappled with thoughts of suicide, I’ve come to realize that birthdays represent a complex interplay of emotions and experiences.
On one side, there’s joy—the happiness of another year of life, a moment to celebrate milestones and personal growth. However, there’s also reflection on what has transpired, the struggles faced, and often the painful memories that can resurface. Like I exhibit in my blog post from my birthday last year when I share my poem AS I LAY ME DOWN:
As I lay me down to sleep
One last post to
his Facebook feed.
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
He types, clutching a bottle of
pills ready.
But if I should die
before I wake
He hits postand
hopes for his end.
I pray God my soul
will take
He’d rather die than keep
making countless mistakes.
But if I should live for other
days, I pray
The Lord guide my way
And here I am still today.
Each year, we are reminded not only of how far we’ve come but also of the battles we’ve fought, some of which may still linger. In reflecting on my own experiences, I’ve found that taking a step back during these times can be crucial. I think about the importance of embracing both the light and the shadows that come with birthdays.
When we confront our emotions and allow ourselves to feel—even the difficult ones—we open up the possibility for healing. I remember a quote that resonates with me: **Albert Einstein**: “Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.” This idea encapsulates the essence of what many of us face—noticing that setbacks or dark times may also provide us the chance to rebuild, to reevaluate, and to appreciate the life we have.
As I reflect on past birthdays, including my twenty-ninth, I recognize a shift in my perspective. The years leading up to this point were filled with challenges that shaped my outlook on life. Each birthday now feels like a celebration not just of life but of resilience—the ability to keep moving forward, despite the odds.
Here is a look at my differences of perspectives from 29 to thirty through a birthday poem I wrote last year to the one I wrote this year:
“Happy Birthday To Me”
Twenty-nine years today
have come and gone.
I can’t believe that I
have lived this long.
Eighteen years, I thought,
was enough. What will become
waits for us.
Eleven years more, I
have gotten past that.
Over four hundred bright
new days I have seen with
all their clumsy blessings.
Just shy of one thousand
hours I almost didn’t see.
I have decided to keep running.
All the endless possibilities and
beauty I never could see
before I truly started living.
Eleven. Eighteen.
Twenty-nine.
“Twelve. Eighteen. Thirty.”
It’s my Birthday again
Twelve years
of just straight living.
since
Eighteen years of age
I tried to stop my existence.
Thirty years old now,
Jesus that’s crazy!
Twelve. Eighteen. Thirty.
it’s my birthday once more.
Twelve years of living, breathing,
since
Eighteen’s desperate night
I tried to silence my heart’s light
Thirty years old now,
Jesus, that’s a miracle.
I often think about the tools that help me navigate these feelings. Engaging in mindfulness, connecting with others, cultivating gratitude, and practicing self-compassion have all become essential practices. They remind me to stay present, to acknowledge my struggles, and to cherish the moments of joy that arise amidst the chaos.
Additionally, taking breaks and expressing my feelings through writing have been therapeutic. These practices support my mental health, especially during birthdays when emotions can feel particularly heightened. They foster a sense of renewal that allows me to enter a new year with hope and determination.
I encourage anyone wrestling with their feelings about birthdays—or any significant milestones—to give themselves the grace of reflection. Embrace the complexities and allow yourself the time to recharge. Entering a new year can serve as a powerful reminder that, while we may face darkness, there is also light to be found.
In a world that often encourages constant celebration, it’s okay to step back and acknowledge the full spectrum of our emotions. Whether through quiet moments of meditation, heartfelt conversations with loved ones, or simply taking a walk to clear our minds, let’s honor our journeys and the unique paths we have traveled.
Each year brings new possibilities—a chance for growth, healing, and a deeper appreciation for life. So, let’s embrace our complexities, lift each other up, and step forward into 2025 with open hearts and renewed spirits. Here’s to both the celebrations and the reflections that shape us, making every birthday a meaningful part of our journey.
What I’m Currently Working on
These days, my schedule feels like a balancing act of teaching, writing, and refining my craft. As I look ahead to the year winding down and the prospects of what comes after July, I’m eager to share my plans and continued progress. To stay updated on my journey and what I’ll be working on next, feel free to visit the Works in Progress Page or follow the Facebook Page, where I share daily updates and fun tidbits.
Poem for the Month
This month I am going to do something a little diffrent as I am going to post a poem of one of my friends they wrote to me for my Birthday. I am going to do so annamylously because I do not have permision to share it. However it highlights the sentiment I discussed about friends and connections helping in these times of complexities. this amazing friend wrote this nameless poem in resonse to my poem “Twelve Eightenn Thirty.”
Mr. Lj is truly great,
he has a heart of gold and a mind that shines,
even in the darkest of nights,
it’s no secret he is a true delight,
for if there was no Eccles,
there’d be no bright ideas from a friend in sight.
A mental reset can involve techniques that help you feel rejuvenated and recharge. Here are some things you can try:
SleepGetting enough restful sleep is important for both physical and mental health. A 2021 study found that people who sleep less than 6 hours per night are more likely to report mental distress.
Eat healthyThe brain and gut are connected by neurotransmitters, so what you eat can impact your brain.
MeditateMeditation can help reduce stress, improve focus, and clear your mind. It also produces serotonin, a hormone that stabilizes mood.
Practice gratitudeTake time each day to focus on things you’re grateful for. This can help shift your mindset and make you more positive.
Practice mindfulnessMindfulness and meditation can help you stay present and reduce the impact of negative thoughts and feelings.
Connect with othersSpending time with friends or family, talking to someone about how you’re feeling, or helping others can improve your mental health.
ExercisePhysical activity that increases your heart rate can help preserve your mental health.
Walk in natureSpending time in nature can make you happier.
Other things you can try include: Taking a break, Seeking out laughter, Changing your scenery, and Writing it down.
Can you believe it’s December already? As we approach the end of the year, I’ve been reflecting on the importance of hitting the reset button, especially during this time. We all need a moment to pause, refocus, and destress, and there’s no better opportunity than now.
For me, this past year has been quite the adventure. Moving to a new place, diving into socializing and rebuilding friendships, all while navigating the delightful chaos of working with kids, has been exhilarating but also quite exhausting. I definitely feel it’s time for a break! Thankfully, with winter break right around the corner, I have two weeks off to recharge.
I’m heading back to Texas to spend some quality time with my family and my beloved dog. This getaway couldn’t have come at a more opportune moment. I pride myself on being self-aware, and lately, I’ve noticed signs that I’m nearing my limit—irritability, sensitivity, and just not feeling like my usual self. It’s clear to me that a mental reset is necessary.
As we wrap up this year, I encourage everyone to take a moment for themselves. Whether it’s a weekend getaway, a cozy day at home, or simply taking a breath, let’s embrace the idea of resetting. After all, we owe it to ourselves to enter the new year feeling refreshed and ready for new opportunities!
“This is an awful thing that’s happened to you, but it’s also presenting you with a rare opportunity. You have the chance to rebuild yourself from the ground up, to make a completely fresh start.” ― Gordon Korman,
This insightful quote speaks to the heart of not only grief but to the broader challenges we face in our mental health journeys. We all experience stress for various reasons, and how we navigate that stress can greatly impact our well-being. As Korman suggests, when we encounter a setback or create a meaningful pause in our lives, we’re often gifted with a rare opportunity to rebuild and refresh our mental state.
It’s vital to seize these moments. Taking a step back can help prevent feelings of burnout, frustration, or harm—whether to ourselves or to those around us. So, to everyone reading this, if you haven’t already carved out some time for yourself, I encourage you to do so now during this holiday season. Before the new year unfolds, consider the importance of a reset. We all need a little breather—from the hustle and bustle, from the pressures of life.
This season is a perfect time to relax, recharge, and surround yourself with those who lift you up (or in my case, it’s my beloved dog!). Embrace this chance for renewal. Wishing you all a delightful holiday season filled with joy and love. Here’s to catching up in the new year, rejuvenated and ready for new beginnings!
What I’m Currently Working on
These days, my schedule feels like a balancing act of teaching, writing, and refining my craft, especially as I prepare to reset my focus during the upcoming winter break. I’m excited to return home to Texas, where I’ll recharge and reflect on the new poems I’ve been crafting alongside my students. Their voices and experiences resonate deeply with my own journey of learning and discovery.
As I look ahead to the year winding down and the prospects of what comes after July, I’m eager to share my plans and continued progress. To stay updated on my journey and what I’ll be working on next, feel free to visit the Works in Progress Page or follow the Facebook Page, where I share daily updates and fun tidbits.
Author Recommendation
This week at work, my 8th graders read Langston Hughes’s “Let America Be America Again.” While the poem isn’t directly related to the holiday season, I found it particularly relevant as we approach this much-needed break. It serves as a powerful reminder of the importance of reflection and the opportunity to reset our perspectives. Langston Hughes is a compelling voice for introspection, making him a fitting author to feature in this month’s post about resetting and envisioning a better future. Despite the challenges of teaching it during this busy time, I love Langston’s work, and I felt it was essential for my students to engage with his message.
Poem for the Month
If you follow the Facebook page, you might have seen this poem I wrote, which resonates with this month’s theme of resetting. As I prepare to return home to Texas for winter break, I feel a sense of renewal and reflection.
To be Home
Home,
where my heart still resides,
a place I long to be,
where love abides.
Home,
how I have missed your gentle glow,
a warmth that only grows, as christmas lights begin to show.
Away,
I’ve grown, yet yearned for what’s past,
to share my newfound self, with love
that forever lasts.
Away,
I’ve found myself, and others who care,
yet Home remains,
where love’s pure flame is always there.
I’m grateful for the journey, for growth, and lessons learned,
First things first, it’s hard to believe that I’ve been writing this little monthly blog for a whole year. I originally started it for a class, but it’s since evolved into a significant part of my life, especially in light of everything that has happened this year. If you’ve been following along, you’re already aware of my journey.
I graduated from college, moved to New Jersey, and continued my path of self-discovery. A key aspect of this journey has been building connections. As someone who struggles with social anxiety, lacks confidence, and has a natural shyness, making any kind of connection has always been challenging for me. I have a large family, and while those connections are important, they have their own difficulties.
That could be a topic for a future post, but today’s focus is on friendships. Making friends has never come easily to me. When I was younger, I had many friends, but they were more superficial connections. I wore a mask that prevented them from truly knowing me, as I didn’t allow myself to be vulnerable. Unsurprisingly, after a significant event in my life at eighteen, when I attempted to take my own life, most of these “friends” disappeared.
Since then, I haven’t put much effort into forming authentic friendships due to fear. However, to my surprise, I’ve managed to build true friendships here in New Jersey, thanks to amazing, patient, and understanding individuals. It has been a challenge, but I finally feel loved, seen, heard, and cared for.
While it may seem unusual for a personal journey, building connections with others is a crucial part of the process. I spent a long twelve years focusing on self-work, but I’ve now entered a new phase where I am actively working on my connection-building skills and discovering who I can be as a friend. This is a significant and challenging step for me but one that is necessary for my ongoing journey of authentic self-discovery. Our identities cannot be defined in isolation; they are shaped by our connections with others. Friends play a vital role in helping us understand and convey our identities to the world.
What I’m Currently Working on
These days, between work and personal projects, my schedule seems to be a juggling act of teaching, writing, and refining my craft. I’m excited about the new poems I’ve been crafting alongside my students, capturing their voices and experiences, which parallel my own journey of learning. As always, to follow my progression or what I am doing, you can head over to the Works in Progress Page or follow the Facebook Page where I post updates and share fun tidbits daily.
Author Recommendation
Author Recommendation
Poem for the Month
If you follow me on social media, then you will have already seen the following poem. It is titled mirror and is a recent poem I wrote. It explores seeing yourself differently because of the way others see you. This goes perfectly with this month’s theme as, more often than not, our friends see us differently ( hopefully in more of a positive light) than we see ourselves.
As I settled into October, I couldn’t help but reflect on the theme of learning, especially having been immersed in teaching recently. It struck me how learning never really ends; it’s a continuous thread woven throughout our lives. A quick glance back at my previous posts reminds me that while I’ve touched on various topics, I don’t think I’ve dedicated a post solely to the importance of learning. So here we are, diving into the journey of learning and the profound influence it has on our identities as we grow.
Maya Angelou once said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” These words resonate deeply with me, especially as I navigate my role as a teacher. I’ve come to realize that learning isn’t just about absorbing information—it’s about the transformative impact of those experiences. It’s about cultivating connections, grappling with ideas, and ultimately growing together.
Throughout my recent teaching experiences, I’ve been reminded that the classroom is a microcosm of the larger world. Each student brings a unique perspective, and there’s an incredible richness in learning from one another. As I guide my students through their own discoveries, I find myself learning right alongside them. It’s almost a beautifully selfish endeavor, where I learn just as much—if not more—than they do.
Reflecting on my own journey, I realize that some lessons have come wrapped in struggles and challenges. I’ve faced my share of tough moments, but even in those, there’s been profound growth. It’s a reminder that learning looks different for everyone, and the path is often winding and filled with surprises.
The essence of learning is that it evolves. As someone who has always been a curious soul, I find that every experience—good or bad—adds to the tapestry of who I am. Embracing lifelong learning has been one of my greatest challenges and rewards. I’ve learned to lean into the discomfort of not knowing, welcoming the opportunity to grow and question without fear of answers. I’m more determined than ever to embrace this mindset—and I encourage you to do the same. Let’s light the fire of curiosity, seek out new ideas, and support one another in our individual journeys of learning. Be it in the classroom or elsewhere, every interaction holds the potential for growth.
What I’m Currently Working on
These days, between work and personal projects, my schedule seems to be a juggling act of teaching, writing, and refining my craft. I’m excited about the new poems I’ve been crafting alongside my students, capturing their voices and experiences, which parallel my own journey of learning. As always, to follow my progression or what I am doing, you can head over to the Works in Progress Page or follow the Facebook Page where I post updates and share fun tidbits daily.
As I sat down to write this blog post with thoughts of Identity possibly being the topic of theme this month, I found myself shocked as I looked through my ten past blog posts dating back to November (which is crazy to think it has already almost been a year since I started this website journey), because surely I thought I had already written on the topic. Alas, though, I have not written one single blog on Identity solely, although it is at the forefront of all my writing. This website highlights the pure essence of my Identity and the importance of Identity as a concept to me.
However, since I have yet to write one, this eleventh blog will focus primarily on Identity, so let’s go! According to Oxford, Identity is defined as the fact of being who or what a person or thing is. Okay, Oxford! Way to simplify that (Ha). That’s the thing with Identity; it is not simple and is so so hard to define, so good effort, Oxford.
Defining Identity, especially one’s own Identity, takes time; we aren’t truly ourselves until we fully come to an end, so that’s the trick. Identity is constantly changing, adapting, and ever-evolving. The key to it is being aware of that. Noticing and grasping the pivotal moments of ourselves and who we are is important to self-awareness. Frankly, it is hard, tiring, and stressful, but ultimately beneficial to your life and success. My Identity has been a struggle pretty much from birth.
Born to two individuals who had previous marriages and already six children between them before they had me, though beautiful, was an instant thrust into difficult identity struggles. Unfortunately, being in a blended family causes a lot of pointing and staring. Then, on top of that, as a child, I had a speech impediment to which most people, even my mother, really couldn’t understand me, so I was in my head a lot from a very early day. Because of that, I already asked myself pivotal identity questions, but I really couldn’t ask anyone about them.
I also am and was raised Christian, so honestly, that didn’t stop the questions from stopping. Fast forward because of these important key factors in my Identity and the struggle with them up to that point, my major anxiety sneaked into me and introduced me shortly after to its friend and partner depression, which tried to but failed to have me meet its bride death. And now, here I am because of those major elements of my Identity and several more. I am here today as the person I am, JustLj.
What I’m Currently Working on
I have now been living in NJ going into three months now, with my year of service as a fellow with the GoFoundation in full swing. This new venture and opportunity currently has been taking up most of my time, but I am hoping as I adjust and the year progresses, it won’t take up as much time as it has, so I can continue my blogging and writing as I was before. I am still also busy submitting my poems and short stories anywhere and everywhere. As always, to follow my progression or what I am doing, you can head over to the Works in Progress Page or follow the Facebook Page where I post updates and share fun tidbits daily.
Author Recommendation
Poem for the Month
This month in the spirit of identity I am going to focus these sections on my self and share two poems. The first is actually one I wrote alongside my students at work during tutorial as we read a collection of three poems about dual identity from Annie Donwerth- Chikamatsu. The other was inspired from my attendance of a night out listening to poetry this past weekend at the Blank Studios.
As I sit down to write this blog post on the topic of difference, I find myself in need of a reminder of the importance of embracing diversity and embracing change. During this period of transition in my life, encountering and appreciating differences has become more crucial than ever. While I anticipated such challenges as part of this new chapter, acknowledging them does not make them any less daunting; it simply makes them more manageable.
So, I write about the concept of difference because I need to remind myself of its significance, and I know that. Perhaps my reflections on embracing diversity will resonate with someone else, serving as a valuable lesson for them as well. Whether the differences we encounter are personal, societal, or linked to adjusting to new norms, it is essential to acknowledge and appreciate their impact. Understanding and celebrating these differences ultimately leads to personal growth and societal harmony.
Paying tribute to diversity, whether through global celebrations or in our everyday lives, helps foster a sense of unity and understanding. Embracing individuality and variation allows us to find common ground amidst our differences. In my current situation, for instance, navigating a new environment far from the familiar surroundings of my past presents its own set of challenges. However, I am grateful for the opportunity to learn and grow, which is worthy of celebration.
In a world filled with differences, it is crucial to acknowledge and respect the unique perspectives and experiences of others. Whether adapting to a new culture, embracing diverse traditions, or simply learning to appreciate varying viewpoints, the significance of valuing these differences cannot be understated. By actively seeking to understand and celebrate diversity, we contribute to the creation of an inclusive and harmonious society where everyone feels valued and accepted.
While the challenges of navigating change and encountering differences may seem overwhelming at times, it is essential to remember that these experiences offer opportunities for personal and communal growth. Embracing and celebrating differences paves the way for innovation, compassion, and the enrichment of our lives. Just as I find myself grappling with the adjustments of a new environment, I am reminded that these differences are integral to my journey of self-discovery and adaptation, and they are certainly worth celebrating.
What I’m Currently Working on
I have now been living in NJ going into two months now, with my year of service as a fellow with the GoFoundation in full swing now. This new venture and opportunity currently has been taking up most of my time, but I am hoping as I adjust and the year progresses, it won’t take up as much time as it has, so I can continue my blogging and writing as I was before. I am still also busy submitting my poems and short stories anywhere and everywhere. As always, to follow my progression or what I am doing, you can head over to the Works in Progress Page or follow the Facebook Page where I post updates and share fun tidbits daily.
Author Recommendation
This month, my author recommendation is Ransom Riggs. I am a huge fan of his series Miss Peregrine’s Peculiar Children and am currently finishing up book four, “A Map of Days.” Riggs has a way of beautifully making differences of strange and creepy demeanor relatable. His books showcase the theme of this blog as he amplifies differences into the peculiar society and makes it resonate with the way how everyone is different, and that is totally acceptable, or should be at least.
Poem for the Month
As I said above in the what Im working section of this blog, it has been hard to find time to write; however, I have been still writing in the little moments. To prove that, here is a poem I wrote earlier in the week that inspired the theme of this blog for the month:
This month’s blog will likely be similar in many ways to last month’s blog post on growing/moving on as the themes of growing/moving on and loss & celebration are alike in many ways. As many of you know, at least if you follow the site’s Facebook page, This month has been a crazy one as not only did I just arrive in my temporary home for a year in New Jersey to start a new venture with The Go Foundation, but I also lost my sweet Hazel dog of sixteen years before leaving.July was an emotionally crazy time, to say the least. Starting the month celebrating the 4th of July, seeing family not often see, getting hyped for the trip, for the move, then getting struck by guilt and loss at the last second.
July is often full of celebration due to the 4th, and it is the height of true summer, causing many nations and lots of happiness. We may forget that the very celebration of the 4th is ridden with loss. America fought and won the fight for its independence, but that didn’t come without mountains of loss. The decision to go to war and battle for this right did not come easy; often, any measure of loss comes with that type of heaviness. Taking Hazel to the vet and ultimately coming to the decision to help her pass was no different. Selfishly and unfortunately, I believe I was holding back the process to leave it to be dealt with after I left for New Jersey. Fortunately, I came to my senses and knew I needed to see her through, not just for her but for me, too.
Most often, this is how loss is dealt with because no one wants to deal with it and confront it head-on, hence why these types of decisions commonly do not come easy, no matter how big or small perceived. Hazel, even through her discomfort, pain, and need for release, with her big ol heart, regardless of how unsteady it was to find out, knew I needed her to show me how strong to be in times of loss and change. Though naturally shy, nervous, and timid, she welcomed that vet staff and her passing as the best thing ever; the staff was her family, and she was so strong, bold, and happy the whole time. So, although I did cry that day, those tears, as heavy as they were, were sobs of celebration.
Hazel lived sixteen beautiful years with me and my family; she outlasted many furry companions and helped love on many new generations that came during her life. Her life was one to be celebrated, not regretted and feared, and I am so glad that I made the tough decision to be with her for that moment, as we both knew it was coming. I just needed time to truly process that and not hide and try to run away from it. My only regret on the matter is how long I took to come to that decision and how close I made it to my time of leaving, making it even harder than it was already going to be leaving my one remaining dog, Duke, who has always had both Hazel and me and within the span of two weeks he presently has neither. As Hazel taught me in her last moments in the difficult times, we need to show strength, especially for and to those we love. My time here in New Jersey is only short and I have a big, supportive, loving family, so Duke will be just fine. In case you missed it on Facebook, here is my poem in honor of my sweet Hazel Bazel:
As I type this blog post on loss & celebration and do so greatly needing a reminder of sweet Hazel’s lesson of strength in difficult times as I am going through it today. These types of days were and are expected during this big adjustment during this year in New Jersey, but awareness does not make things less hard; it just makes it easier. So I write on the loss and the celebration of Hazel because I need to for myself, and I know that. Maybe Hazel’s lesson will touch someone else as they read it, and they needed to be taught this as well, but regardless, loss is hard, but that is why we celebrate. Whether the loss you are going through is personal, global, partnered with grief, or the loss of comfortability due to change, know that your feelings are valid, warranted, and, most importantly, need to be coupled with celebration. Loss, when followed up by celebration, ultimately results in inner peace and trauma passion; this is why we have holiday celebrations such as the 4th of July, but caution yourself not to forget or discredit the small things too, like in my circumstance for instance; I am struggling today because of the newness of moving to New Jersey from Texas without my dogs and far from family, but I am fortunate for my loving and supportive family and for this great opportunity and venture post-graduation that I prayed for and that is worth celebrating!.
What I’m Currently Working on
As you can guess, after reading the above blog, I have just moved to NJ, and my year of service as a fellow with the GoFoundation has begun. I am also busy submitting my poems and short stories anywhere and everywhere. As always, to follow my progression or what I am doing, you can head over to the Works in Progress Page or follow the Facebook Page where I post updates and share fun tidbits daily.
Author Recommendation
This month, to continue the memory of Hazel even more, I share one of the short stories that I wrote a few years ago in preparation for the inevitable day that ultimately arrived earlier this month. It is heavily influenced by my life and inspired completely by Hazel’s story completely:
The Other Puppy
This was not supposed to be my life. I was the other puppy. The brown puppy. My brother, the black one. He was chosen. My Boy often likes telling this story. Mom went out searching for a new friend for him. She met me and my brother in one of those parks for cars. I was scared I didn’t know what was going on. My brother was excited, though, greeting each new person like his new best friend. I was apprehensive, unsure, and shy. Mom was immediately comforting to me. She paid attention to both of us, but she lingered on me.
I thought I didn’t like the attention at first, but then suddenly, I was disappointed when she stopped massaging my ears. Rubbing between her thumbs and index fingers like a soothing pinch. I enjoyed it and wanted her to begin it again, but she scooted back from us, smiled, and then there was a flash. I put my head down, attempting to shield my eyes. My brother looked directly at the fleeting light sticking his tongue out. I later learned that was Mom taking a picture of the two of us to send to My Boy. She asked me which one I wanted, and I said The Black One, My Boy would say and then begin to chuckle as he continued. Then Mom said too late, I got The Other One. That’s me. The Other One. The Other Puppy.
I am unsure why My Boy refers to this as one of his favorite stories. The first time I heard him tell it, I had nightmares for nights after of him taking me back to exchange for my brother. When Mom picked me up in her welcoming yet cautious arms loading me inside her car, carefully driving out of its park, I had my suspicions. It took me time to accept and get used to my new home.
My new home meaning My Boy. He is perfect. Caring. Compassionate. My voice. My champion. My Boy. Any doubt is replaced with love in his presence; which I have been around for thirteen years. Of course, that’s not to say the doubt never crept in. It was in my nature to worry. My Boy, my home, just made it easier to cope with. Through the numerous changes: inside dog to outside dog, new dogs, new people, new places, even as I became weaker and all my brown brindled fur turned to grey, My Boy always showed me love.
As my teeth began to pour out like rain and my sight went as foggy as a druggie’s brain. He would tell me how beautiful I was and how lucky he was to have me. It was nice to hear and much needed because I am so naturally The Other Puppy or other anything. I don’t call for much attention, not like most dogs. Its always been easy for me to fall back and take a secondary role. What’s that saying, ‘never the bride, always the bridesmaid.’ That’s how I felt most of the time. Wait my turn until the needier was taken care of, and let me tell you, I have had some needy roommates. Dumb, goofy, loud, obnoxious, and full of themselves.
My Boy loves dogs more than he loves himself sometimes. My Boy is like me in that way. Anxiety, depression, and lack of self-worth are all ways that we could be described as. In fact, some may define us by those words. That’s okay. We know we are more. Sometimes it takes the other to remind us of that, but we do. We rely on each other. Have all these years. A kiss. A nudge. A snuggle here or there delivered at the right time could mean the world. Some days it has literally meant life or death for My Boy. When I was still an outside dog, just on the brink of becoming an old dog, My Boy tried to take his own life. I heard Mom say he was tired of worrying and being afraid. He would have rather sank into his daydreams than live life knowing he wouldn’t achieve them. I understood that.
That’s when I realized My Boy was an other like me. That was why we clicked. That is why Mom brought him me instead of my brother. We needed each other. I made it my mission to become an inside dog again once he returned home. I knew I could be what he always was for me. A blanket of love and worth. And now I knew just how important a job that was.
That’s why my current situation kills me. Lying on this doctor’s bed that reeked of all different kinds of dogs, looking into My Boys tear-filled eyes. He was keeping the tears in because he didn’t want to cry in front of the doctor, but I knew once he left to prepare for my final nap, My Boy would cry with the power of a tsunami. This moment had been coming for a long while, and we both knew it. Still, that didn’t make it any easier.
I had to be strong and confident for him. Four years as an inside dog since My Boy’s forced brush with death and two inside his little home all to ourselves. Just me, My Boy, and Good Boy. An ironic name for my newest roommate. I often think My Boy calls him by this as an incentive and not because he is, in fact, a good boy. When My Boy brought that dog home, it was clear he was a bonified bad dog. My Boy has put much time into Good Boy these two years. I also followed suit, especially since sensing my time was nearing.
I taught Good Boy everything I knew about My Boy. I tried to explain how My Boy and I are others and would always take a step back for those who needed more attention, like himself. I warned him that although he would never show it or admit it directly, My Boy needed assurance and recognition that he was valued and loved. I told him again and again how much My Boy needed reassurance, and that soon, he’d be the only one here to take care of My Boy. I was never sure if Good Boy was truly listening or grasping any of what I told him. It worried me desperately in these last couple of days if I would be leaving my wonderfully precious Boy, who though now was a man, would always be My Boy, without a dog who truly understood him and knew what he needed. Today as My Boy carried me through the house Good Boy gave me a look that told me he did understand after all. The big blonde dog with his usually perked-up ears now drooping and cocked let out a small whimper as I was walked out of the house to take my final car ride.
Back in the little room, the doctor left us in just like I predicted My Boy lost himself in grief, bursting into a fit of tears. I mustered up the little strength I still possessed, edged myself to the end of the tall, smelly doctor bed, and nudged my dry brown nose forward, meeting the temple of My Boy’s head, ruffling some of his autumn-colored hair.
He looked up from the defeated position he had taken with his face buried in the palm of his trembling hands, crouched forward on the bench near the bed. Our eyes met, and I knew he felt what I did — The love- — The time and life spent together — The endless appreciation. He stopped crying, as a tender smile replaced his look of dread as his leafy green eyes lovingly locked with my muddy brown ones. I heard the doctor renter and saw My Boy give a slight nod toward him before suddenly wrapping around my neck in a warm embrace that felt like a fireplace on a cold winter night.
“My sweet, sweet girl. Thank you. Thank you so much.” My Boy sniffled in my good ear while he messaged the other like Mom used to. I felt a pinch but ignored it as the moment felt too good. My Boy put his nose to mine and everything else disappeared from thought— the smell, the pain, the fear.
” I can’t imagine if Mom had brought that other puppy to me instead. You were exactly what I needed.” I drifted off with those words looking into My Boys loving eyes.
This month’s blog is an exciting one for me because I can finally share my plans post graduation. As many of you know, at least if you’ve been reading these monthly posts, I graduated from Southern New Hampshire University (SNHU) last month. That said, Im sure, like myself, you all may have been wondering what comes next for me now. As the above picture and the title of this blog post suggest, that is exactly what I will be writing about this month as I tackle the topic of moving on and growing.
As I have grown and come to know myself through almost thirty years of living, one central thing I know about myself is that I must follow up on victories quickly. No matter how big or small the victory, I have to follow it up almost immediately, or my mind will rule it as a failure instead. I knew that with gaining my college degree, the stakes were going to be huge because of the time and dedication I put into it. The likelihood of falling into a deep, long depression afterward if I didn’t line something up after graduation that continued or at least aligned some way to my degree in English and Creative Writing was high. The growth of my awareness of myself redied me for this inevitability, so much so that I did not allow it to be an option by any means. In fact, I have had a job/opportunity lined up for some time now, even before my graduation, but I have been waiting till closer to time and for certain details to be finalized until I announced it. I worked my butt tirelessly the last couple of months of studying at SNHU, sending out resumes and cover letters far and wide; little did I know far and wide was exactly where this ambitious, desperate determination to move forward and onward off of my momentum of college completion would take me.
I am excited and proud to share that I will be serving as a Go Fellow with the GoFoundation through Americorps. This role will be a teaching/tutoring fellowship opportunity that will see me working with young minds in reading. Not only will I be helping to expand and grow minds, but this opportunity will also be one of great potential for my continued growth and moving on after graduation. However, this great opportunity will also literally also see me moving for a year.
I will be moving from Texas to Newark, New Jersey, for my year of service with the foundation from July 29th to June 2025. The opportunity has provided housing and other such benefits. This is something I would not have even considered even a little if it wasn’t for growth, awareness, and moving on from bad habits and limitations. Don’t get me wrong, this was not an easy decision whatsoever; lots of thought and deliberation has gone into it because I have to make sacrifices for it, such as leaving my beloved dogs with my family for the year, not to mention I have never lived outside of Texas as I depict in this poem I wrote for the occasion:
As the time for my big move gets closer I have been in deep thought over it all. I couldn’t be more grateful for my family during this time, as they have been a big help in helping me move on to this opportunity and see it as the right move to keep growing. Another big help has been reading young pueblo’s Clarity & Connection, a collection of poetry about moving on, growing, and awareness. The moral of this story, folks, is knowing yourself and seeing the growth you are making, as well as the growth you could achieve, leading to opportunity and hopefully leading then to success and happiness. I am not saying it will be easy; Lord knows it hasn’t been for me, but it being difficult shouldn’t stop you. Like the poster picture for this blog states, you have to keep moving to keep your balance, or else you will just be left stuck on the ground; life is all about growth and moving on and forward, not staying in place and looking back.
What I’m Currently Working on
As you can guess, after reading the above blog, I am hard at work getting ready for my move to NJ and my year of service as a fellow with the GoFoundation. I am also busy submitting my poems and short stories any and everywhere. As always, to follow my progression or what I am doing, you can head over to the Works in Progress Page or follow the Facebook Page where I post updates and share fun tidbits daily.
Author Recommendation
this month’s author recommendation is Stephen Chbosky. The Perks of being a Wallflower is one of my favorite books and aligns perfectly with my theme this month. For those who have never read it, I highly recommend it. Chbosky creates the perfect young struggling, unperfect, and realistically messy hero in Charlie. The teen struggles as most teens do, but Charlie’s are dark and tied to his past and going through changes, so yes, you could say moving on and growing are big themes in this YA title, as can be seen in this quote from the book:
“So, I guess we are who we are for alot of reasons. And maybe we’ll never know most of them. But even if we don’t have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things. And we can try to feel okay about them.”― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower
This book is not just a great read but a necessary reminder that moving on and growing, especially as a young person and someone with mental illness, is a very important aspect of life if you want to achieve happiness.
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